Steven Seagal – Songs From The Crystal Cave (2004)

June 25, 2021

This is really an intriguing album. The title alone promises something mystical and exciting, unknown and terrifying. The art, well, strip away three of those things, leaving terrifying. I think that word is probably the best way to describe this entire album. Like, who on earth allowed this to happen?

If the man himself isn’t crooning out awkward ballads or pop numbers, he’s lending his “guitar” “skills” to a bevvy of lukewarm reggae / dancehall inspired tracks, chock full of boring MCs and infomercial-grade music (and not in the cool vaporwave way).

Honestly, I’m appalled at myself for sitting through this one.