Archive for November 2019

Some decent groovy gory nastiness from two big names in the business of killing. Nothing groundbreaking on offer from either band but the split is solid as fuck and the tunes are great. I’d have to say Cliteater have the edge here, if I had to pick a favourite.

Wellity wellity wellity, what in the ungodly holy fuck is this? I saw the album cover and just had to dive in and take a look. For better or worse, 7 H.Target (I wonder what is the inspiration behind the name?) play brutal slamming death metal. I mean, as far as slam goes, this is actually pretty fucking good. The record is a compilation, so what I truly mean to say is that, the first…

My quest through Romero’s …of the Dead series marches ever onward. Slowly I guess, like a shambling zombie. Land Of The Dead is a strong one, pitting the zombie apocalypse against a Mad Max kinda societal vibe. Some outstanding gore effects, but loses some points for a few patches of atrocious CGI (nothing makes me more flaccid, truly lol). Those of you who enjoyed the Tenpenny Tower subplot of Fallout 3 should resonate with this…

I love the Dwarves; their blend of upbeat, happy punk rock really cannot be beaten. There’s a million other bands out there that sound like this, but to be honest it only really works for the Dwarves. Born Again isn’t a long album, and it doesn’t need to be. So sing along to the pretty song, but make sure your cock is out too.

Ahhh, of course, following the success of the immeasurably grim Cannibal Holocaust, many others in the same vein quickly followed. The acting in Cannibal Ferox is absolutely atrocious, but I still found myself enjoying this movie. Scenes of animal deaths are hard work, but watching tribesmen kill and eat a turtle as they would in reality is far less harsh than most films that have stooped to this level for shocks. On the face of…

This gimmicky beer themed band could have been a complete write off (like many batches of my purulent home brew) but Ancient Brewing Tactics is just fucking glorious. Appealing to both the crust punk and the beer geek, Trappist cast the net wide. A well rounded debut full of catchy yet heavy songs. I cannot argue with that.

I’ve grown quite fond of Rico’s rhymes. Her delivery is equal parts terrifying and entertaining. This mini album / EP is a pretty good showcase of her skills, with ace production by Kenny Beats, and I’m pretty sure Harry Fraud pops up too.

Tech death is never very high on my list of favourite genres, but you gotta appreciate the old school shit.  There’s something about the atmosphere here, combined with a level of grime that adds a whole other level to the proceedings. Cynic are an incredibly talented band.

Scream 2 is probably my least favourite of the whole franchise. Whilst I get that the series’ whole shtick is how meta it is, this is taken to nauseating heights with the insufferable know it all characters on the university set. Entertaining yes, but they also fucked the landing with the ending so it easily comes in as the weakest entry in my eyes, Sarah Michelle Gellar or no.

This is probably one of the oldest records I’ve listened to in sometime, but I’ve been trying to get back into jazz after unceremoniously being overwhelmed by the choice of places to start. All in all, I wouldn’t have called this mind-tormentingly experimental, but when you consider that it came out in 1959, it must have confused an awful lot of people! That sax… absolutely ear-drum piercing! Apparently a plastic instrument. Interesting stuff. Either way,…

Throned In Blood is one of the Jucifer records that is true to how the band sound in real life, up close and deafening in a live environment. The songs are messy, violent and devoid of any fucking around. Once you adjust to the recording quality, it is a real trip through heaviness. For me, the stand out tracks are the ones recorded on bass, and the closing track.

Chunky, silly groovy “porno” grind from the lovely town of Tilburg, The Netherlands. Kinda reminds me of a whole bunch of other stuff in the same vein, although utmost respect to 666 Shades, Whoracle did not get boring or tired at any point through the record. It is hardly refreshing or original, but if you want some beers and a party vibe, silly samples and sillier artwork, dive right in. The sound is good and…

So, this is where it all began? SOTS took At The Gates to new heights, cemented their place in metal history and spawned a generation of imitators. Of course however, you should always go for the original. Also, this is perfect gym music to boot.

Master of puppets pulling your strrrrings! Realising I hadn’t done an entry for this was a strange one. It is, of course, a classic. I treated myself to a spin of the remaster recently when I was at the gym and was surprised at how good it sounded. I’ll have to do a side by side listen one day to see what the differences are, but in all honesty I was just glad for the…

Compilation CD I picked up through a trade many moons ago, contains both the album Preparation Of The Patients For Examination and the EP Daddy’s Steak. Out of the two things, Daddy’s Steak takes the biscuit (or the filet?) for being the sickest and better sounding, although the Preparation… album has a Effortless Regurgitation… era Regurgitate vibe about it which is also quite charming. Tip top groovy muddy gore for the discerning gentleman.

The latest (at the time of writing) numbered EP / whathaveyou from the beautiful Fief, bringing all of the magical dungeon synth tunes that you could possibly what. Can this even be called dungeon synth? It’s more like straight-up olde worlde fantasy music, something you’d get whilst walking through Skyrim or something. It is lush and gorgeous, and does not seem to rely on synths, at least not the obvious electronic sounds. Amazing stuff.

I’m a glowing man I am! Rounding out the trilogy is one thing, but topping or even equaling To Be Kind and The Seer is no easy task. However, in retrospect it’s easy to see how the reformed Swans’ sound became less punishing and more ethereal as the trilogy unfolded. Glowing Man is, and I apologise for repeating words found elsewhere online, absolutely transcendent. I really can’t think of an easier way to describe this…

The world is definitely a colder and much more unforgiving place now that Brutal Truth are no longer with us. End Time is a volcanic explosion of scatterfuck, ants-in-your-pants grindcore. Dollops of heavy riffage and feral vokills are barely held together by spazzy percussion. What a send off.

Yo dawg I heard you liked crickets, so we put some extra reeeees with your breeees and filled the gaps with sampled sleaze! With a band name like that I just had to check these guys (guy?) out. Turns out they are associated heavily with Cemetery Rapist, Goremonger and that breed of bedroom pornogrind shittery, so I’m really surprised I’ve never come across this shit before. Honestly though, it all sounds a little tired and…

Dug this out recently for our “Its October So Lets Watch More Bad Movies Than Usual Month”, and I realised that I hadn’t seen Scream in so long that I couldn’t remember who the killer was in the original movie. There is eye candy galore in this Wes Craven classic, and although the plot is a bit daft, as an older and wiser (and more bitter) individual I can now get most of the horror…

Glass Swords is an exercise in lush, fathomless digital euphoria. Combining elements of pop with the slickest electronic music, Rustie really hits the nail on the head when it comes to all things big, shiny, and glossy.

Ah, Labrat; one of those early 2000s British bands that has unfortunately been claimed by Father Time. All in all, Ruining It For Everyone is a sordid trip down memory lane that I have enjoyed massively. Expect grindcore meets Dillinger style fuckery (and disturbing sleeve art). 

1987 gory classic that birthed a seemingly endless array of sequels. There is something charming (is that the right word considering the subject of this film?) about the fact that this film is British. Oh, no tears please! I read recently about some of the cuts made to this film and they are quite frankly ridiculous. I could tell in parts where the cuts were made and I agree with Mr. Barker that this has…

Sikfuk have been keeping it ridiculous for donkeys years and the third album proper (a solo effort from Sir Nikfuk Shitbeard, I believe) has one of the best (or worst) titles in death metal. The usual blast and splatter technique overlaid with a farmyard of different vocal styles is heavily welcomed, as always is the cover art, this time by the timeless Lou Rusconi. The presence of a drum machine rather than a real sticksman…

Stunning, razor-sharp black metal from long-time masters of the genre. Expect excellent riffing, clinical drumming and chilling, atmospheric synthesizers. Expect vocals from the blackest, darkest pits; invoking the unholiest, most infernal spirits.

You’re either one of those people who loves or hates Cliteater. Eating actual clits aside, the band sit – for me – in the murky no mans land between goregrind and death metal, not really massively appealing to fans of either. That probably sounds harsh, as they have done quite well for themselves, considering the limitations of this underground world. Clit ‘Em All doesn’t particularly stand out in their discography for innovation or individualism, but…

I always remember enjoying Scream 4 more than the previous sequels but a recent rewatch for Halloween proved otherwise. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve watched this, and honestly I’ve already forgotten the majority of the plot. That can’t be good. It’s worth noting that this is the goriest of the Scream films. I’ve watched some of the grimmest and most questionable of exploitation cinema, but something just feels incredibly wrong and jarring about…

Taxi seems like the weaker young sibling to Ferry’s stunning Bete Noire album. Both came out around the same time, and both reach for that same dark yet lush 80s electronics vibe (even into the early 90s!), laden of course with brooding vocals. Where Bete Noire excels, Taxi fails to hit the mark, and comes across a bit half arsed, especially with the inclusion of several cover tracks.

All three rappers (I think there is three? 2020 edit: yes, there is three) in this group kick ass, and I’m a huge fan of Esham anyways so I’m chuffed to finally getting around to checking out Natas. Of course, this is some old school prime rib wickedshit and absolutely just what the doctor ordered. If you don’t like lyrics about fucking bitches and shooting guns I wouldn’t bother, but otherwise I would strongly recommend…

How can a b-movie without any violence or nudity be so good? Ha! TerrorVision pulls out all of the stops without drowning you in blood and gore, and there isn’t a tit to be seen. Instead, the hilarious overuse of ‘body horror’ style prosthetics and monster creations rely heavily on the usage of slime and disgusting sound effects. As far as the humans go, the raunchy factor is steepened by innuendos, absurd situations and hammy…

The Berzerker’s final incarnation was a promising one. With a fully revitalised live band and a stunningly fast and precise new drummer, things seems on an upward slant. However, The Reawakening, the first album away from Earache records, falls flat on its arse. Tracks range from uninspired to downright horrible. Riffs that once were brutal as fuck or morosely melodic are clumsy and awkward. The vocals sound like they were recorded in somebody’s living room,…

Hi all – to celebrate hitting over 1000 posts, I’m going to further mix things up by also introducing TV show posts to Lines In Wax. The only criteria is that the show has finished its run and can be spoken about as a whole. Enjoy! The first I heard of Tuca & Bertie was that it had been cancelled by Netflix, to much criticism. I read that maybe the creators went “too niche” with…

I’ve recently started this insane habit of hitting the gym between 2-4am and nothing goes more with pumping iron like a totes dick than nu metal. This album has escaped me for decades, and honestly, it really isn’t that bad. I’m glad I listened to it. Wait a second, isn’t that narration by the same dude who does all those derpy TES IV: Oblivion characters? Lol

Godspeed… felt like something of a return to form after the super-commercialised blastbeat-free fest of Thornography (clean vocals much?), with new drummer Martin injecting a fucking powerhouse jolt of new life into COF’s arguably lacklustre attempts at mainstream music. Returning with a concept album about a French satanic paedo was just what Cradle needed to do. Sacre Bleu!

This one took a while to get going, but it was worth the wait. Sloshy, melty disgusting gore with some of the most hilarious effects I’ve seen for a while. Weird as fuck to see Larry Boy from The Sopranos acting here (it was his first feature), and I was head over heels in love with Jana Arakawa (despite her haircut haha), who has unfortunately not appeared in much else since.

She act like a sloot, she sing like a sloot, hell there’s a good chance she probably is a sloot (with all due respect – no offense intended, she’s owning that shit hahahah), but something tells me that Slayyyter and her fans love it. I mean all of this in the best possible way. Raunchy, if not a little uninspired, kinda like this review. It’s moments like this where I wonder where I’m going in…